Thursday, April 28, 2005

Stupid emotions.

So, I'm feeling pretty fucked up. There are two warring emotions going on in my head right now. The first is happiness that I'm leaving Long Island for a week for the first time since October and going somewhere where there's mountains and hills and the air smells different. And being able to kick back and take a break from my domestic duties is something that I am greatly looking forward to. The second emotion is horrendous guilt and pain because I'll be boarding Ruby Tuesday at the vet's office for 8 whole days where she'll be having her front claws taken out next week, just in time for us to pick her up. I hate the fact that she'll be separated from the other cats, but it's a necessary evil: we just purchased a nice new leather couch and chair that she's already scratched in parts and will need to be repaired before we leave tomorrow. What it really comes down to is the fact that I am having my cat's claws taken out to protect my things, which sounds really shallow, but the fact is, it's the most expensive piece of furniture we've ever purchased (not our usual IKEA fare) and we'd like to get more than a week out of it. We're already on a tight budget and we can't afford to have it professionally repaired, so the declawing thing prevents that in the future. It still doesn't make me feel any less horrible, but I have to reconcile these things in my head for the sake of my sanity and so that I can relax. I've been so stressed out & busy lately & I really need to enjoy this break and not feel guilty the whole time.

Oh well. I'll be back with pictures and maybe some stories to tell. I need to not be here for a while. And by 6 AM tomrrow, I will be on the road already and hopefully a little bit more excited than right now.

Big Star, "Motel Blues"

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

folded into the pages.

i know you'd rather see me gone
than to see me the way that i am
but i am in the life anyway
next door the tv's flashing
blue frames on the wall
it's a comedy of errors, you see
it's about taking a fall
to vanish into oblivion
is easy to do
and i try to be but you know me
i come back when you want me to

Monday, April 25, 2005

I am a passenger :: vol. 2

Because all I ever do anymore is organize things, including songs. But this is one of my better ones, I think?

1. Coldplay, "Talk"
2. Headlights, "It Isn't Easy to Live That Well"
3. Stars, "Ageless Beauty"
4. New Order, "Krafty"
5. James, "Sometimes"
6. When in Rome, "The Promise"
7. Yeah Yeah Yeahs, "Y-Control"
8. T. Rex, "Planet Queen"
9. David Bowie, "Sound and Vision"
10. Dire Straits, "Sultans of Swing"
11. Ray LaMontagne, "Trouble"
12. Grant-Lee Phillips, "Humankind"
13. Iron and Wine, "Promising Light"
14. Belle and Sebastian, "The Boy With the Arab Strap"
15. Phoenix, "Everything is Everything"
16. The White Stripes, "Blue Orchid"
17. Wilco, "Heavy Metal Drummer"
18. The Velvet Underground & Nico, "All Tomorrow's Parties"
19. Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young, "Helpess"

Friday, April 22, 2005


Stop immediately what you are doing, proceed to stereogum and download "Trouble" by Ray LaMontagne. This is especially necessary if you love early 70s Van Morrison, particularly the Moondance album.

I am a passenger :: vol. 1

1. Iggy Pop, "The Passenger"
2. The Strokes, "12:51"
3. The Cars, "Just What I Needed"
4. Nick Gilder, "Hot Child in the City"
5. The Soundtrack of Our Lives, "Sister Surround"
6. The Specials, "A Message to you Rudy"
7. The Jam, "Going Underground"
8. The Libertines, "What Became of the Likely Lads?"
9. Neil Young, "Everybody Knows This Is Nowhere"
10. Iron and Wine, "Naked as we Came"
11. Death Cab For Cutie, "Photobooth"
12. Sondre Lerche, "Sleep on Needles"
13. Spoon, "I Turn my Camera On"
14. Joy Zipper, "Baby You Should Know"
15. The Pixies, "Wave of Mutilation"
16. Low, "California"
17. Talking Heads, "This Must Be the Place (Naive Melody)"
18. Simon and Garfunkel, "America"
19. The Shins, "New Slang"
20. Galaxie 500, "Tugboat"
21. Blue Oyster Cult, "Don't Fear the Reaper"

New car! With a CD player! And a road trip next weekend! I am beyond excited. Yes, we've finally joined the 90s. Ha ha. In the meantime, I will be making mixes for the 5 hr trip (10 hrs if you count going back). This first one features some of my favourite all time driving songs as well as some newcomers that will probably grow on me even more.

Sometimes -

Things fall into place. And it's a great relief and burden that falls away from you when they do, and you're ready to move onto even greater, more complicated things.

Music: Iggy Pop, "The Passenger"

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

I'd like to drink my troubles all away.

April Mix

1. New Order, "Waiting for the Siren's Call"
2. The Stone Roses, "She Bangs the Drums"
3. Dire Straits, "Walk of Life"
4. Led Zeppelin, "Over The Hills and Far Away"
5. The Who, "Won't Get Fooled Again"
6. Van Morrison, "Caravan"
7. The Magnetic Fields, "Epitaph for my Heart"
8. Trembling Blue Stars, "The Ghost of an Unkissed Kiss"
9. Death Cab For Cutie, "Title and Registration"
10. The Smiths, "Unloveable"
11. Red House Painters, "Shock Me"
12. Ed Harcourt, "Apple of My Eye"
13. Beach Boys, "Don't Worry Baby"
14. Big Star, "September Gurls"
15. Wilco, "California Stars"
16. The 6ths, "As You Turn To Go"

(so excited about making more new mixes for S.'s new car (fingers crossed) and our trip upstate next weekend. lately all i do is paint and listen to music, the end.)

Thursday, April 14, 2005

I know you've had more loves than Mata Hari.

1. I hate money.

2. I will distract myself from my hatred of money and current financial situation by finally painting the living room with S. And we've gotten rid of most of our ugly furniture to boot. Which will require the further spending of the dreaded money to replace, but there are somethings that just need to be done for the sake of my eyes and good taste.

Music: The 6ths, "As You Turn To Go"

Friday, April 08, 2005

Eyes that light up, eyes look through you.

Earlier this afternoon I felt decidedly Canadian and decided to read some Margaret Atwood, which felt surprisingly good. I also listened to Wilco's Yankee Hotel Foxtrot, which I thought was vastly overrated when it first entered the public indie music consciousness, but which I have come to appreciate more and more as I grow older and more curmudgeonly, and as, presumably, my tastes mature. It's funny how things sound the same and yet different when you revisit them at intermittent points throughout your life.

Tonight we drove listlessly for about the thousandth time through the same dead end town and ended up in the café at Borders book store (is there a sadder place to be on a Friday evening?) and I was both amused and slightly horrified to spot a middle aged man sitting there, with no drink or bag in sight, seemingly mesmerized with a large hardcover book tilted in his lap entitled SERIAL KILLERS. Only in small town America do I notice these things.

Music: British Sea Power, "True Adventures"

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

She brings the sunshine to a rainy afternoon.

Gah! Once again, I am late with my monthly mix, but here it is, for what it's worth.

March '05 Mix.

01. Yes, “Your Move: I’ve Seen All Good People”
02. The Band, “The Weight”
03. The Thrills, “Tell Me Something I Don’t Know”
04. Loretta Lynn (w/ Jack White), “Portland, Oregon”
05. French Kicks, “The Trial of the Century”
06. Secret Machines, “Nowhere Again”
07. Bloc Party, “This Modern Love”
08. M83, “Don’t Save Us From the Flames”
09. Kings of Convenience, “I Don’t Know What I Can Save you From (Royksopp Remix)”
10. Belle & Sebastian, “I’m Waking Up to Us”
11. Snow Patrol, “Chocolate”
12. Teenage Fanclub, “Your Love is the Place that I Come From”
13. Camera Obscura, “Eighties Fan”
14. The Velvet Underground, “Sweet Jane”
15. Tindersticks (w/ Isabella Rossellini), “A Marriage Made in Heaven”
16. Yes, “Sweetness”

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

It hit me like a ton.

It is difficult to describe what it is like to see Henry Rollins live, except that it is overwhelming to see someone so self-aware and in touch with the world and able to convey it all with grace and humour. In 2 and a half stellar hours, he managed to touch on everything from the war in Iraq to death to encounters with cab drivers to Canadians to taking a train into Siberia to phone solicitors to sex toy shops and the varying sounds a man makes upon... well, you know. I’m only scraping the surface here, too.

He is everything that any writer/creative entrepreneur would aspire to be. I walked away from his show extremely impressed and inspired, and reassured that what I am doing here, with my life, is not for naught, but that I should be reaching further and further than I currently am in terms of being socially aware, especially in the current political climate of this country. It just is difficult to find my inner fuck-you in a town and geographical area that breeds complacency to the norm and looks down on anyone who doesn’t want the 2.5 kids by the age of 25. I’d much rather have a puppy first, thank you very much.

I wish that I could bottle what I felt that night and hold on to it forever, because frankly, I need it. I need the reminder that I am not just another statistic and that what I do or don’t do, in the grand scheme of things, matters.

Music: Spoon, "I Turn My Camera On"

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